year in review… that took almost as long to finally write

So I started this months ago and just haven’t had a chance to finish it (along with others that I am still working on hopeful to finish in the next few days).  As I sat down and started looking at the unfinished work ahead of me I though this one was a great place to start with the year coming to an end.  So here it goes. 



Helping bake my birthday cake



So the year in review.... Where to begin??? So much has changed and happened you would think that it would feel like a year, but no it has flown by. Lately with work I am so behind on my blog, so here it is. We just celebrated my boy's first birthday. 1 year already!! I was really good until we were watching the video we made and the tears started and wouldn't stop. I don't know why I was sad. I have this great kid, who brightens everyday, so why was I sad that I have even more to look forward to???

Maybe because the reality is it all goes by too fast, and before I know it he'll be 5, then 10, then 18. Nevertheless we had a great day with the family.

 

R.I.P



To celebrate we went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium to see the great white shark that is on display. (it was alive when I wrote this, however now, not so much)  It is only about 5 feet long, and yet still intimidating. With the way he effortlessly cuts through the water, aware of everything, and without a care, I certainly wouldn't want to come across him in the ocean. I was so excited, being a HUGE nerd about shark week, to be able to see one up close, but not TOO up close. We had a great trip visiting the aquarium, wineries, and pebble beach. Although it was just for the weekend it felt like a mini vacation. I came back recharged and refreshed. Hudson won't remember these trips but I'll never forget them. Standing with my son looking out on the ocean taking in the sights of the seals, otters, and birds (yuck) was one of the best days ever!!!
Sometimes it doesn't feel real. I put him to bed and watch Hudson sleep and think to myself I can't believe he's mine. I hope I'm not the only one out there that has moments of absolute awe at the thought of this little one being apart of me. It just seems overwhelmingly unreal. Lord help me never take those moments for granted and try to live in the moment, because these moments are GREAT!

We also celebrated another Thanksgiving and Christmas as a family.  It was great for everyone to get together and enjoy each other's company.  The only bad part is that we get so wrapped up in visiting that we take no photos of all of us together.  That is my news years resolution (well one of them).  We have tons of pictures of Hudson, but hardly any as a family, or him with our extended family. 

As this year closes there are little things that I am afraid years from now I will forget so I am going to take this moment to write them down so hopefully they stay in my mind forever.  They may seem trivial to you, and maybe years from now they will to me too.  However these are the memories that I treasure most right now so here they are.

1. The look on Hudson’s face when they handed him to me.  He was so calm and those huge eyes just stared at me like he knew who I was immediately, not screaming or fussing, just taking it all in. (I know this one is not from this year, but I had to write it) He still looks at the world the same way now.  Focused, calm, and wondering.  I hope that never goes away.

2. How Hudson twirls in a circle when he is seated on the floor.  Now that he is walking he hasn’t done it, how I wish I would have gotten that on video.

3.  At Christmastime Nana got us a Fisher Price “Little People” nativity and at night Hudson would press the angle so that the song would play and then we’d say “kiss the baby Jesus” and he would grab just the baby Jesus and give him a kiss.  (that one really warmed my heart)

4.  Watching Hudson and Jeremy walk hand in hand

5.  When I drop him off at Nana’s in the morning how he has to give me a kiss goodbye through the screen door, and as I walk away he leans forward for another one so I have to run back and forth a few times.  It’s amazing that I get to work on time.

6.  That even at this age he looks to Jeremy for approval.  While playing with his train where he has to put the letters on the train and then it tells you what letter it is and a corresponding word, after he puts each letter on the train he looks up at Jeremy as if to say “Is that good Dad?” 

I’m sure there is more that I will add later, but for the sake of posting I will end it here with just the fact that we are so lucky and blessed.

What a great year! And as Hudson would say NNNN-Da!

Letter to you #2

Dear Hudson,

Here is another letter to my beautiful baby boy.  I feel like so much has happened this month, and I have enjoyed every moment of it.  We went on our first real family vacation.  Me, your dad, and nana and papa Miller all went to Los Angeles for a wonderful vacation.  We went to the aquarium the first day where we met up with Auntie Barbara and your cousins.  I think you really enjoyed the aquarium, and I know I sure did.  We spent quite a long time by the otters and seals, watching them swim through the water, you never taking your eyes off of them.  Every time their heads would pop up out of the water you would squeal and laugh.  In the evening you went with Nana and Papa while dada and I went to a baseball game.  According to your grandparents you were wonderful.  Although they’re a little biased when it comes to you.  You got to have dinner with your great Aunts and Uncles, and saw a great sunset on the beach.  Then the next day we went to the zoo with Great Aunt Phyllis, Rebecca, and her kiddos Jack and Sam.  There we got to see a lot of animals and you had your first taste of kettle corn thanks to Papa.  We even went to a petting zoo, you weren’t too sure about that, but I’m sure in a few years you’ll really enjoy it.  It was a long day and you were great.  We came back to our hotel room and you just crashed.  Considering how this was not at all like our normal days and our routine I was so impressed on how you were.  To be honest I really expected you to be miserable.  Without your naps and comforts of home I expected this trip to be….interesting…but it wasn’t difficult at all.  At night you slept great, played hard when we got back to the room, I think just excited to be out of the car seat, and just went with the flow of everything.  You must get that from your dad:)  You are nothing like you were 6 or so months ago.  You are such a brightness in my day, and I was so proud of you and ecstatic that you were as happy, and content as you were in this strange new environment.  As our trip was winding down you took your first steps in the sand.  Well I guess they weren’t steps, but close enough.  Again at first when your dad took you down to the ocean you were unsure, not unhappy, just tentative.  When the wave came up you pulled your feet up lightning fast, but that didn’t last long.  Before too long you were kicking, and smiling away.   You’ve turned into quite the water lover lately, very different to the infant that hated baths. 

     Back to my original purpose for wanting to write to you…You have changed so much lately, discovering new things, exploring everything, and enjoying every minute.  You have become such a happy baby, enough so that strangers will comment on how well behaved and smiley you are.  However, to be honest I do miss the cuddling, you would rather be on the floor checking everything out than sitting and snuggling with me, and I do miss that, but it has been replaced with the joy of watching you do new things.  Some of the things I wish you weren’t exploring, like Brando’s water and food dish, every cabinet in the house, and anything within arms reach.  But seeing you play in the sand, watch the waves, and something as simple as navigating around the coffee table brings me so much enjoyment.  I am absolutely dreading going back to work and not getting to hang out with you all day.  I don’t want to miss this part of your life, or any part for that matter.  Just please don’t walk without me!   It seems like all of a sudden you’ve made huge jumps in development.  One days you were crawling (well kind of) and now all of a sudden your were pulling your self up, cruising around holding on to furniture, and keeping me on my toes.  I feel so lucky to have been home with you these last few months and I hate that its almost over, but what I really hate is how fast this year has gone.  In a little over a month you will be one year old.  It’s absolutely criminal how fast it goes.  No cool stuff until 4 pm got it! I love you.

Your Mama

Little Miracles

I saw another miracle yesterday and she's 7lbs, 3oz. What a blessing she will be to her family. It makes me feel so blessed that I can be near such innocence. It also makes me remember the day my little miracle was born.  It seems so long ago and yet it was only 10 months ago. I look at these little ones now and it is hard to remember him that small.  My little 6 pound 2 oz perfect little guy, who has made everyday since then a true adventure.

There have been times were it has been hard with no sleep, frazzled nerves, a crying baby that can’t be consoled, along with cooking, cleaning, and working, but when I look back that went by so fast (although it didn’t seem to go fast when I was in the thick of it).  Now it's criminal how it goes by so fast. Summer please slow down:( So much in such a short period of time. Why can't work go by this fast??? Parents, I know I have said this before but these little ones are such a blessing it is hard to fathom what we have done to deserve such beauty. Thank God we don't get what we deserve, right??  Maybe when I get puked and pooped on I am getting a taste of what I deserve just to keep me humble.
Recently Jeremy's family was in town and we got a chance to visit. After dinner we walked around a bit, and just watching our families and kids interact, play, laugh, and explore brought me such joy.  It’s funny how the little things matter the most now. 

Hudson has brought so much joy to my life, a life I thought was good before. It pales in comparison to the happiness now. These little miracles make everyday better. Good luck to my dear friends on this new adventure. It's hard, but Sooooooo worth it.
 

So much for a family photo:)

Letter to you

Dear Hudson,
I just want to tell you how much fun I have had with you lately. You have always been a joy to my life, but you are now growing such a great personality that you are a joy to everyone you come in contact with.  Strangers are coming up to me to tell me what a gorgeous and good baby I have.  Everyday we have spend together is fun, but lately it has been more than that. I have enjoyed watching you learn and experience new things.  Summer is already going by too fast.  I thought going back to work after you were born was tough, but this is going to be harder I think.  You are learning new things everyday, changing faster than I can keep up, and becoming your own little person, and I am loving every minute.

 

For example, last week when we went to Auntie Lea's and floated in her pool. It was great to watch you experience something new.  Of course tentative at first, you kept looking toward the bottom, I could only image what you were thinking.  After a few minutes you kept squirming to get out of my arms (no fear) to investigate.  Then a few days later was the fourth of July. We began the day with breakfast with Grandma Lana.  We went to Mimi’s cafe and they were so great and brought you some Cheerios to munch on so we could eat (Love Mimi’s).  Not only  did you eat all your oatmeal that I had brought and the Cheerios, but I ended up giving you some of my breakfast.  You were such a good eater always trying new things.  Then you sat there happy, laughing, talking, and playing all by yourself while we ate.  A family came by our table as they were leaving to tell me how cute you were, and how well behaved.  We had such a great morning! We sat outside on a bench enjoying our cool weather for July, while you played with the zipper on Grandma's purse, trying to figure it out.  We went to Babies R Us where I spent a small fortune, as usual, and you hung out with us looking around taking everything in.  Sometimes I just like to watch you process everything.  I can tell you are thinking, and would give anything to know what is going on in your head.  You get very focused, usually put your head down a purse your lips.  It’s the cutest thing in the world. 

Later we went to a BBQ and to be honest I was worried. Not only did you miss your afternoon nap, but I figured the fireworks would be scary, and you wouldn't sleep well when the evening came. That's what I get for being a worrier. You had a great time! You played with Dayton showing him the right way to eat Cheerios, and played patty cake with Dean. When it came time for fireworks you were intrigued.  Every time a big loud explosion would happen you'd turn in that direction, look to the sky and watch as they lit up our street.   Everyone was so impressed with what a good baby you are. We didn't go to bed until late (well later than usual) you must have been exhausted, and there was no argument. You had your bottle, grabbed your puppy, and laid right down.  Of course I am prejudice and think you are perfect, but aside from that, your individuality is really starting to come through.  You giggle and it lights up my day.  I am so happy to see that you are a happy baby, because there were some concerns, now I look at you and see happiness, curiosity, and love.  Again I can’t help but feel blessed.

 

I love you more  than anything,

Your mama

9 months...Where did the time go???

9 moths old. Where has the time gone? It's funny how some things seem as though they didn't happen that long ago and yet others seem so far in the past.
It's been 9 months since he joined our family and it seems to have flown by and I can't imagine my life any other way. So much has changed and it is all going too fast. I want to slow down time and get every bit out of every moment. He changes so much every day and I am loving being home with him. Every time I get frustrated with my job, parents, and budgets, I remember "Summer Break", that keeps it all in perspective. I get to spend 3 months a year pretending to be a stay at home mom, and loving it. Any other job and that wouldn't happen.
In the last 9 months not only did I give birth to the most perfect baby on the planet, but we had to have a major surgery performed on him. I have seen him begin to smile when we come home, laugh, crawl (well kind of), and do the Miller grunt you have to see him, Jeremy, and Mark all do that it's hilarious, and so much more. I am excited about what is, and what is yet to come. I don't want to look so far forward that I miss the now, because now is GREAT! Even today it was like he knew what I needed.  I picked him up from his crib this morning and we just sat there and cuddled for 20 minutes or so.  Him with his head on my shoulder listening to SOS, today could not get any better!

Springs Preserve

6/22/2010 

Today the three of us went to the Springs Preserve with Mary, her dad, and Dean.  The kids were great!  We went into this one area that simulates a flash flood.  Even with all the thunder and lightning noises, and the rushing water.  The kids sat there calmly checking everything out, Hudson playing with a beaver I bought him with a 5 dollar donation to the Preserve.  The teeth on the beaver had a strong resemblance to Hudson, so I couldn't resist. 

We then moved on to the outdoor area where they have reptiles, turtles, snakes, and a fox that are all indigenous to the area.  It is already getting too hot in Vegas for babies so we moved inside to the exhibits.  Although there wasn't a lot for the kids to really gain from the experience, I had a great time just hanging out friends and family.  The boys are adorable together and always get a good laugh out of us. 

Next was the sustainability gallery where we learned now to better use, and reuse resources.  That is where Hudson and I got a picture taken in front of the garbage truck. It is definitely somewhere I can see going back to when Hudson and Dean are a little older. 

True Happiness

Today after our walk we came back and Hudson fell asleep in my arms.  As I looked down at his peaceful face I thought to myself.  I am so blessed!  How did I get so lucky? There is not too much that gets better than this.  I thought I knew happiness before September 24, but it doesn't even compare.  God has blessed me and my family in such a way that it amazes me.  I am so unworthy of His gifts.  Not only did he send His son to die for my sins, but he sent me an angel that makes my life complete.  I never could have imagined the happiness that my life is now.  I am truly overwhelmed.  God is good!     

Utah

 

We drove to Utah today for breakfast at Cracker Barrel and the zoo in Moapa.  We got to pet a kangaroo!  It was just nice spending time together as a family.